iibnf ([info]iibnf) wrote,
2004-02-04 15:08:00
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Everybody's free to get a fandom live journal

.


Ladies and gentleman of Century 21 Fandom.

Get a Live Journal.

If I could offer you only one tip for fandom interaction, live journal would be it. The long-term benefits of live journal have been proven by fans who have abandoned e-mail, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own extensive experience. I will dispense this advice now.

*backing music begins*

Enjoy the power and beauty of your talent. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your talent ever. But trust me, in a few years, you'll look back at printouts of your old stories and recall what a great time you had writing all this smut and the fabulous feedback you received. You are not the hack you imagine.

Don't worry too much about who will enjoy your writing. Or worry, but know that no matter what you write, someone will be interested in what you are writing, even if it's just yourself. The real troubles in fandom are apt to be the things that you never expected, like the rabid loonie that blindsides you at 4am in some idle chat room.


Do one thing every day that scares that bitch that flamed you.

Beta!

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, remember, some people are very sensitive to criticism - no matter how much they may need it. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours, but ask them for criticism anyway.

Smut!

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes an author you hate gets more feedback than you, sometimes you get more. The writing is fun and, in the end, it's only for yourself.

Remember the good feedback you receive. Forget the flames. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old supportive live journal comments. Throw away the crappy ones.

Draw!

Don't feel guilty if you have an idea for the filthiest, most degrading story out there. The most memorable stories I know stood out from the crowd by taking chances. Some of the most beautiful stories out there rely on well loved cliche.

Get plenty of fish oil. Be kind to your fingers. You'll miss them when they're riddled with tendonitis.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, remember to post about it in live journal every day. In great detail. So will everybody else.

Enjoy your fandom. Use it up in every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the most enjoyable waste of time you'll ever have.

Post, even if you have nothing to post about but the fact that you're bored.

Read the smut, even if you don't like the pairing.

Do not attack people through fandom wank. That will only get you unfriended.

Get to know your local fans. You never know when you'll have a huge falling out over LOTRIPS fandom and never talk to them again. Be nice to other fans in your fandom. They are most likely to link to your live journal and let you see their friends only posts in the future.

Understand that friends come and go depending on what fandoms you're in, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because no one really cares about those things on the net, all they want is the porn.

Get a Greatest Journal once, but give up after finding out it's crap and just use it for icon storage. Get a blog once, then abandon it when you discover Live Journal's friending functions.

Write Porn

Accept certain inalienable truths: Newbies will annoy. Know-it-alls will patronise. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasise that when you were young, you were never an annoying newbie, know-it-alls actually knew something and readers gave feedback to good authors.

Give feedback to good authors.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you'll get a paid journal from an anonymous admirer. Maybe you'll sell enough shit on ebay to pay for it yourself. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your website or by the time it's finished it will explode with unreadable java.

Be careful which beta reader's advice you take, but be patient with those who supply it. In fact, buy them lovely presents and chocolate, because they do a difficult job. Beta reading is a form of power. Dispensing it can be a way of trying to get an author to write just the right kind of porn to scratch the beta reader's itch. This is not a bad thing.

But trust me on the live journal.



Based, obviously, on Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen (The Sunscreen song). With thanks to [info]erilyn for putting that damned song in my head for the past week! Grrr. Coconut... yum.
Tags: my stories

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[info]plausive

February 3 2004, 20:17:13 UTC 8 years ago

My high school graduation would have been a lot less boring if our headmaster had said that. Bravo.

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:02:59 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you :D

My highschool graduation was really interesting and got me a life time ban on reunions.

[info]plausive

8 years ago

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[info]bemysty

8 years ago

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[info]lydia_petze

8 years ago

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[info]maeglinyedi

February 3 2004, 20:17:18 UTC 8 years ago

I love the sunscreen song, and this is such a perfect fandom adaptation of it! Brilliant, and so very, very true. :-)

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:00:32 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you.

I've done fandom adaptations of it before (see website), but this is my favourite so far.

I'm never afraid to plagiarise myself. Pulling things out of the garbage, dusting them off...

See?

[info]psycho_tabby

February 3 2004, 20:22:51 UTC 8 years ago

LOL
Oh that so Good!
very funny *g*
If only everyone would follow the advice.
My worl... whoops, the fandom *g* would be a better place :P

Thanks *g*

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:59:09 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you :D

I dare say, if everyone followed that advice everyone would be happy, bored, and psychotic. Like me! Except I'm not bored.

[info]villeinage

February 3 2004, 20:25:41 UTC 8 years ago

My cheeks are aching from smiling at this.

So clever.

And I'm right there with you on the tendinitis. Do you get that thing where your finger bends into your palm and won't unbend by itself?

I'm assiduously avoiding the doctor about this, since I know he will dispense two things:

Advice to limit my keyboard time (as if!)

And a honking big needleful of steroids to be injected right into the swollen tendon in my palm (a toboggan ride in hell will happen first.)

Back to topic: this is the funniest on fandom I've read in ages. Thank you!

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:59:55 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Oh yes, and when they get really stiff and won't bend down, or just ache a lot.

Give up the mouse, give up the walkman, give up masterbation (ah hem, yeah, right), move the mouse to the left hand (or the right if you're left handed), there are a heap of things you can do.

My hands are much improved since I made some big life style changes.

[info]huushiita

February 3 2004, 20:26:20 UTC 8 years ago

I am awed. I will now get down on my knees to worship and grovel at your feet.

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:01:03 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

While you're down there...

[info]huushiita

8 years ago

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[info]foxsyd

February 3 2004, 20:26:47 UTC 8 years ago

*Sherrie does a standing ovation of 100 people* *clap clap clap clap*

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:00:56 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you, thank you, bows...

[info]bethbethbeth

February 3 2004, 20:32:21 UTC 8 years ago

:::sniff::

Oh...that was...

:::sniff:::

so beautiful

:::sniff:::

There are no words...

:::sniff:::

Especially this: "Do one thing every day that scares that bitch that flamed you." *g*

Words to live by, my sister. Words to live by.




[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:01:35 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Yes, as Libertine said in a recent post about someone who flamed her, "I sat outside her house, fondled her pet dog, then touched myself".

[info]inkwraith

February 3 2004, 20:44:33 UTC 8 years ago

Hee! I love it. Brilliant.

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:54:10 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you :)

[info]foxsyd

February 3 2004, 20:46:43 UTC 8 years ago

Permission..

Can I post this to a mailing list?

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:50:41 UTC 8 years ago

Re: Permission..

No, but you can link back to it. I've made it public in case people wanted to link.

Which mailing list?

[info]foxsyd

8 years ago

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[info]iibnf

8 years ago

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[info]foxsyd

8 years ago

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[info]iibnf

8 years ago

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[info]tekalynn

February 3 2004, 20:54:00 UTC 8 years ago

*APPLAUSE!*

I haven't heard the Sunshine Song. I was actually thinking of Desiderata/Deteriorata.

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:56:22 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Yeah, similar in concept.

I'd recommend downloading a copy of the Sunscreen Song (correct title: Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen), or I could email you an MP3. I don't have an MP3, but I'm sure I could find one eventually.

[info]cesperanza

February 3 2004, 20:55:36 UTC 8 years ago

Oh, hilarious. I enjoyed this so much!--thanks!

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 20:58:33 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Hello... where did you come from? Glad you enjoyed :D

Minutes that took me, minutes.

Ta

[info]iibnf

8 years ago

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[info]cesperanza

8 years ago

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[info]iibnf

8 years ago

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[info]erilyn

February 3 2004, 21:06:25 UTC 8 years ago

I'm glad to accept any blame for this, it's freaking brilliant :)

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:10:46 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Yes, you have often inspired me. Not usually in the ways normal people would expect though...

WUBBY!

[info]erilyn

8 years ago

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[info]brevisse

February 3 2004, 21:06:56 UTC 8 years ago

Ah! I love that song! And this adaptation was.... Funny, yes, but inspiring. Wow. I am almost in tears. Almost.

...I think I'll go draw now.

[info]iibnf

February 3 2004, 21:10:26 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Inspiring? Tears?

Does it inspire you to maybe do some lovely Snape/Hagrid smutty artwork? With the gorgeous feet and toes that you do?

Because that would be cool.

TOES!

[info]brevisse

8 years ago

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[info]veronamay

February 3 2004, 21:20:28 UTC 8 years ago

That's the best thing I've read all day. :)

[info]pastles

February 3 2004, 21:23:37 UTC 8 years ago

Brilliant, Bernice.

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 20:16:20 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thanks, Pam :)

[info]out_there

February 3 2004, 21:40:06 UTC 8 years ago

*giggles*

*hugs you*

So. Damn. True.

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 20:16:27 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thanks, Annie :)

[info]lyricalnights

February 3 2004, 21:45:39 UTC 8 years ago

*fangirls you harder than I ever thought possible*

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 19:44:15 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Snert, my very own fangirl! Weeeeeeeeeee :D

[info]lyricalnights

8 years ago

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[info]anduril_narsil

February 3 2004, 21:54:26 UTC 8 years ago

Dude! I just listen to that song/poetry/whateveritwas and damm. and omg! the NY and NC reference. This is good. Really good, and now, I gotta listen to it read with these words.

Thank you.

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:31:26 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

I'm glad you enjoyed it, but what's the NY and NC reference? I don't understand...

[info]butterbeer

February 3 2004, 22:05:22 UTC 8 years ago

found this by way of [info]without_me. i played that song while i read that. it was so dead on! you did a great job! :D

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:32:17 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thank you, and thank you for telling me about Without Me - you've put me in touch with an old friend from another fandom! :D

[info]wyomingnot

February 3 2004, 22:11:25 UTC 8 years ago

What's one more incoherent comment?

This was absolutely fucking brilliant! See? It's reduced me to obscenity just to express the depth of brilliance you've posted.

*sigh*

*fangirls you ruthlessly*

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:31:55 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

LOL, if you're that ruthless, you'll end up rubbing all my fur off!

[info]wyomingnot

8 years ago

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[info]lydia_petze

February 3 2004, 22:29:01 UTC 8 years ago

Understand that friends come and go depending on what fandoms you're in, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because no one really cares about those things on the net, all they want is the porn.


I think that's my favourite part ;-) Good one!

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:32:46 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

That line is very 'me' isn't it ;D

[info]mintwitch

February 3 2004, 22:30:59 UTC 8 years ago

Fabulous

::adds to memories::

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:32:59 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thanks, and thank you for the rec, too :D

[info]lauramcewan

February 3 2004, 22:40:05 UTC 8 years ago

linked here by [info]lyricalnights, and I come from SW:TPM fandom, among others. Fabulous! I was laughing hysterically and even got my husband to laugh as well.

Brilliant!

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:34:34 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thanks, I'm glad you and your husband got a laugh out of it, and laughter's a good aphrodisiac, too :D

[info]thepsychicclam

February 3 2004, 22:40:12 UTC 8 years ago

ok, this is gonna sound kinda weird. but this was exactly what i needed. i've felt so burned out on fandon, but this kinda hit something.

so yeah. wonderful. sorry i'm so emotional >.> and you don't even know me. hi, i'm rachel, i'm from lotrips. i got here via [info]lyricalnights.

i love this song, am actually listening now. anyway. enough rambling. just thanks. as weird as it sounded, you completely renewed a stranger's love and confidence in fandom.

/random

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:35:40 UTC 8 years ago

Re:


Hello Rachel

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling burned out on fandom. I think we all go there sometimes, though. Hopefully enough things come along to cheer us up, keep us enjoying things. I'm glad to hear that this was one of those things for you :D

[info]nightengale

5 years ago

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[info]josselin

February 3 2004, 22:42:15 UTC 8 years ago

Well, I got here via [info]mintwitch's rec, and I found this most amusing. :)

[info]iibnf

February 4 2004, 01:33:48 UTC 8 years ago

Re:

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
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